Grace upon grace; mercy upon mercy

Grace means to get something you do not deserve; unmerited favor.
I have been given a great amount of grace these last few months.  I dare say, probably more grace has been given to me this past year than in all the days given to me in my life.

My outcome was bleak.  But even in the darkest of the darkness, I had hope.  There was always hope because I believe in grace.  I believe in God's unfailing grace, his unmeasurable grace, his unending grace.  Grace has been bestowed upon me in ways I cannot fathom nor explain.

Mercy means you do not get a punishment that you deserve; compassion, forbearance.  God is abundant in grace and mercy.
The thing that was placed on my life, I cannot say that I did not deserve.  When I think of the sinful state of the human soul, I realize that there is no penance, no work, no striving that could ever be great enough to remove the blight that mars my heart.  

But that's the beauty of grace - it does what we cannot do ourselves.  God's great grace grants us unmerited favor and removes the corruption from our hearts.  His mercy offers us what we cannot deserve on our own; a second chance, a new beginning.

Even as recent as yesterday my heart was overwhelmed again at the thought of this scar left on my life and the lives of everyone in my family.  Not only does this week mark the one year mark of my cancer diagnosis, but this was also my 6 month scan.  Every test, every blood workup, every PET scan, every CT scan, every MRI they order I wonder if they'll find something.

And then I remember again, God's grace and his mercy.  I cannot earn these things.  I cannot deserve them.  I cannot buy them or speak them into existence.  I can only trust His unfailing kindness and his merciful heart.  

I am thankful for His grace because it gave to me something I did not deserve, another year, another month, another week, another day.  I am thankful for His mercy because it removed from me the death that was almost certain.  

Every day of my life I am thankful for the grace that has been bestowed upon me.  Every day I am thankful for his mercy because it is what keeps me going.  

Only By His Grace,

Billie