Love must cost us something...

"Love to be real, it must cost.

It must empty us of self."

~Mother Teresa~

Writing this blog has cost me something.  It has cost me my privacy, my pride, my "I can handle anything alone" attitude...It forced me to face my challenge head on and empty myself of my self.

It has been a source of encouragement to some and an outlet for me to share my struggles, my fears and my faith through it all.  In every post I have poured out my heart sharing my pain, my recovery, my lack of strength and my utter will to give God glory through each milestone.

Yesterday another milestone was reached.  If you've followed along for very long you know that after my surgery I suffered severe leg pain from neuropathy.  I have found myself crying through the night for God to let me die because the pain was so great.  I have had good days when I pushed myself and so-so days when I just muddled through.  My sweet friend has been walking me through physical therapy and yesterday was my last official session.  

I still have muscle soreness in my calf, but on a pain scale of 1 - 10, it's now about a 1.  My toes are still slightly numb, but considering where I was 10 weeks ago, on my pain scale of 1 - 10, I've come down from a 12 to less than a 1.  

All of this means healing is taking place in my body.  It means that God is proving himself faithful once again.  It means that even the slightest set back is on His radar and He cares for us.

I don't know what the days ahead look like for my blog.  I desire to keep writing and for you to continue to be encouraged.  In order for 'love to be real it must cost.  It must empty us of self."  As I look ahead I want to continue to allow my journey to empty me of self so that I can continue to give God glory.  I want my love to be real and I know that it must cost something.  

I am a pretty private person.  I don't open my heart easily or share my secret fears lightly.  But I want to continue to do that, still, because maybe somehow, someway, this might bless you in return.

One thing I know:  God is faithful and his love endures forever.  I will continue to share that with you.  Every step, every milestone, every winding turn this journey takes, I will share His goodness and His grace trusting in His sovereignty.  

Only By His Grace,

Billie