Words are powerful...

Words are powerful creatures.  Last week I was chatting with the sweet lady at our orthodontist's office.  We were talking about life perspectives.  Mine has certainly changed, and continues to change as the days grow on and we move one day farther into our journey.

I mentioned that MOPS has adopted the motto "Be You Bravely" for this year.  I said that I have the "Be You" part pretty well, but the "bravely" part....well, not necessarily.  Here is what she said, "You never wavered."  I needed to hear that.  She didn't know it, I didn't know it, but I desperately needed to hear it.

During my cancer journey, I agree, my faith never wavered.  I was willing to go wherever God would lead me, even through the valley of the shadow of death.  I now know what it means to walk through the valley of the shadow of death and fear no evil.  There were moments when I was sad to think about leaving my children.  I was devastated to think of my husband as a widower at 42 years old.  One evening we were setting up a movie night and as I made my way to the family room I saw my husband and kids sitting there...and I thought, "This is what the pictures of their life will look like without me..."  Those moments still make me cry.  But I never feared death.  

But what Sharon said to me was, "You never wavered."  Past tense. It one tiny mili-second she spoke life into me.  She used the past-tense when talking about my journey.  In one tiny moment the world seemed to stop spinning and I was finally able to breathe again.  Really, truly, deeply breathe!  I honestly thought, "Wavered...it's over..."

I still have things I'm dealing with on a daily basis.  There is still pain in my leg, numbness in my foot, my hair is still short and shaggy.  But the cancer part of my journey is over.  When I look in the mirror I see visible scars from this journey, war wounds from a long and tiring battle.  But I've come out the other side and my journey is now changing.

I'm no longer a cancer patient.  I'm a cancer survivor.  I do not look to the future with uncertainty.  I look to the future with hope and a purpose.  For how-ever long God chooses to leave me here on this earth, I want  desperately desire to make the most of every moment.  I want my laughter to ring out, I want my tears to flow freely. I want my children to know that I'm their biggest fan and my husband to know that I've still got his back.

More than anything I want to let others know that whatever they are facing there is a purpose and a plan...they can get through it and come out the other side with a new perspective.  

I never expected to walk into the orthodontist's office last week and leave breathing a sigh of relief...and great revelation.  Thank you, Sharon!  You had no idea what your words meant to me, but they changed my perspective, again.

Only By His Grace,

Billie