Thankful for the everyday moments...

This time last year I was frustrated, tired, aggravated and to be honest, my attitude needed an adjustment.

I got up, dropped the kids off at school, went to work, picked the kids up from school, rushed home, made dinner, threw in some laundry, cleaned the house, took the kids to practice, picked the kids up from practice, got home around 8:30 or 9:00, fell into bed and did it all again the next day.  I was exhausted! 

From August to November I was a hot mess.  I was tired and grumpy.  I hated that we were involved in anything - and everything from cross country practices to cross country meets.  I hated school functions.  I hated requests from people at church. I resented the fact that I didn't have a spare minute to sit down, much less rest.  I hated how tired I was All. The. Time.

November changed all of that.  In one small moment my life changed.  Suddenly I wasn't promised another tomorrow.  I wasn't given hope for another year.  I honestly thought I was watching the last few episodes of this saga that is my life.

Yesterday I took my daughter to her first cross country meet of this season, and as I watched her run through the shoots I nearly broke into tears because I realized how very blessed that moment was.  I thought I wouldn't be here to see her run this year.  I wondered if she would even run this year at all - if I passed.

I went to Elementary Open House.  As I sat in my fourth-grader's tiny desk I remembered the fear and worry I felt last year, wondering if he would remember me as he grew older or if my memory would be like a passing vapor in the back of his mind. 

Yet there I was...cheering at a relay and listening to the download of information from the teacher.  It was quite overwhelming.

This year isn't any less hectic than last.  In fact, our fourth grader has added after school activities, and our schedules are full. 

When I tell people that my cancer was the biggest blessing of my life they have no idea what I mean.  They can't comprehend it.  You can't comprehend it.  But it changed me...for the better.

Every moment is a blessing - even the frustrating ones.  Every day I have to spend with my children, every hug I give them, every movie I watch with my husband, every crazy antic from the people at the office, all of them are blessings.  Every single one.

I'm glad my life is hectic.  I'm glad I am busy beyond what any sane person should be. I'm glad because that means I'm still here.

Only By His Grace,

Billie