Memories...

September 11, 2001.  I'm betting you can remember exactly where you were, and exactly what you were doing on that fateful day twelve years ago.

John and I, along with Baby Girl, were on vacation in Virginia.  Our plan that day was to drive out to the coast and see the Naval ship yards.  Only our plans changed while watching the news at breakfast.  Our country had been attacked and all ports were being evacuated.  The Navy ships and all extra personnel were being sent to New York to help those who desperately needed it.

We couldn't believe what we were seeing.  We changed our plans and went to Colonial Williamsburg instead.  If you've ever been there you know they try to keep it as authentic as possible, so there weren't televisions and radios reporting the day's events.  It was peaceful and "normal."

Baby girl was seven months old and I was expecting.  I was about 14 weeks along.  But later that evening, in a town we knew nothing about, I started having contractions.  When we arrived at the hospital, they were on a skeleton staff because all additional medical personnel had been sent to New York. After several hours in the emergency room and finally being placed in a private room, I lost the baby that night.

Our little one would have been twelve years old this year.  I don't know what he or she would have been like.  I can imagine that he or she would have had blonde hair and blue eyes.  I can imagine that he or she would have been a pleasure to our family.  I can imagine that he or she would have had talents and dreams and a bright future.

On a day when we remember so many lives that were tragically lost it is a bittersweet moment for me.  The loss we suffered pales in comparison when you look at the bigger picture of what happened that day.  But my heart still remembers what could have been and what will never be. 

To those who remember loved ones lost on this day, my heart is with you.  And we go on.  We go on for them. We go on for ourselves.  We go on for our fellow countrymen.  We go on because we survive.  We go on...

Only By His Grace,

Billie