By design...

Today I wanted to share a bit of our story with you because I believe things don't "just happen."  I believe our lives are choreographed by design.

Childhood:
  When I was born I had a birth defect.  My kidneys didn't function correctly.  It was the early 70's and not a lot of research had been done on kidney / bladder function.  I had what is now know as renal reflux, where your bladder fills up, but back flows into your kidneys.  I was four before they found it.  After multiple surgeries, the problem was repaired, but my kidneys were damaged.  I had lost approximately 50% of my kidney function.

Present Day:
  Because of the dysfunction of my kidneys, I have had the same urologist since I was a child.  He is a precious man.  I love him dearly…he's like family to me!  

Design:
  When school started in August I found myself getting tireder and tireder.  I worked until 2:00, picked up the kids, ran home, ran back out to sports practice, ran a few errands, cleaned the house, washed the laundry, picked up from sports practice, helped with homework, took a shower and collapsed into bed.   This was a daily routine.  I was exhausted…and I just couldn't get my energy level up.  
   One evening, after dropping my son off at Karate, I went home and collapsed into my easy chair.  I had chills, aches and felt generally horrible… like I had the flu.  So I waited it out a couple of days, but didn't develop more flu symptoms.  The only other time I had felt this badly was when fighting an oncoming kidney infection.
   That Monday I went to the urologist for a routine check.  All labs came back normal.  By Friday night I had such terrible pain in my left kidney that I went to Immediate Care.  They took more labs, gave me Cipro and sent me home.  By Sunday I was feeling much better.  Sunday evening ICC called back and said my labs were fine and I should stop my antibiotics.
   Monday I went to see my Internist.  He said that judging from all my labs, he would have treated me the same way.  He sent me home, and told me to come back in one week for secondary labs.
   The following Monday I was scheduled to go back in to see the internist.  However, when I dropped my kids off at school, I came home and found I was passing large blood clots in my urine.
   I called the Urologist immediately.  He saw me that afternoon and ordered a CT scan.  The CT scan came back abnormal with what looked like a blockage of my left kidney into my bladder.  It could have been a kidney stone, scar tissue, inflammation  infection… we just didn't know.  
   So November 6 I went into the hospital for a cystoscopy.  He ran a scope into my bladder to find the blockage and to relieve the pressure in my left kidney, but found cancer instead.  It was already so large and thick that he couldn't clear the blockage.
   I went straight to radiology for a nephrostomy.  That is a catheter they port into your back, in through your kidney, and attach a catheter bag so your kidney can drain.  I will wear this until my bladder removal surgery in a couple of months.

   The evening of November 6, my urologist went to the grocery.  There, he ran into an oncologist friend that he has a personal history with.   She noticed he was not his usual cheery self and asked him what was wrong.  He told her that he had found cancer in one of his younger patients.  A woman who was healthy, didn't smoke, ate right, exercised, took her vitamins and did all the right things.  The urologist said that she wasn't taking new patients, but for him to call the next morning and tell her staff that she was taking me.  
   I don't call that coincidence.  I call that divine appointment!  Later, a friend of mine told me that her mother was a retired oncology nurse and she used to work in the very office with the very doctor I would be seeing!  So many little bits and pieces have just "fallen into place" that I cannot believe in coincidence.

Blessings:
  I am so very blessed by all of these events!  It reminds me daily that my God knows my need even before I do.  He knows exactly what is coming my way and will order my steps in the right direction.
  What I considered to be a curse my whole life, my kidney dysfunction, has turned out to be one of my biggest blessings!  Had I not been blessed with a birth defect I wouldn't have known my urologist, or had a urologist.  Had I not known him, he wouldn't have been able to point me to my oncologist.  I would have gone months trying to make appointments with urology clinics, once they found out what was wrong with me, it would have been more time trying to work me into a lesser oncology clinic…  
   My eyes have been opened to the blessings in life.  What appear to be trials and troubles have turned into life-changing, life-saving blessings for me!

Matthew 6 says this:
5. And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.


Only By His Grace,

Billie