The quiet valley...

"He said, My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." Exodus 33:14

I love the image of the valley.  I know there are books written on the metaphor of the mountain top, but I have always loved the valley.  Mountains offer us a broader view, yes, but the valley is plush and green, full of peace, flowing with fresh water.  It is peaceful and quiet.

Maybe that is why the psalmist said, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for thou art with me."  

Many are asking me what is next on our schedule.  I'm still going for chemo treatments every couple of weeks with a week off for recovery in between.  I have two, possibly three rounds left.  Then we do another PET scan to see if the cancer has shrunk enough.  If it has, then we wait a period for recovery and then I have surgery.

There are so many unknowns right now, and to be honest, there are days when not knowing really weighs on my mind.  Has the cancer spread?  Has it shrunk?  Why am I not having the horrible side effects everyone expected me to have?  How will I adjust to my new lifestyle after the surgery?  Will I reach the 5 year survival rate?  

I don't see these questions as doubts.  They're just questions, really. My faith is strong and secure.  I believe God is in control of this and my source of strength comes from Him alone.

I guess I'm kind of in the valley right now.  Some days I'd love to be on the mountain top so I could see what lies ahead.  But being in this valley is peaceful, too.  It is where He makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters. I know that His Presence is with me, and that He is giving me rest.  

Only By His Grace,

Billie