Never a question...

"Rejoice always. Pray continually." I Thessalonians 5:16-17

This sums up my life right now.  I didn't realize it until yesterday.  I find myself in a state of constant and continual prayer.  Washing dishes, folding laundry, cleaning the shower, tucking in the kiddos... my mind is constantly in a prayerful state.  "Lord, let this cup pass from me."  "Nevertheless, your will be done."  "Jesus, show me how to reach the hem of your garment?"  "I submit to your will."  "Please don't take me from my family."  "You alone are sovereign and I trust in you."  

I remember the psalmist, David, saying, "On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night." Psalm 63:6.  Many are the nights I wake up in a prayerful state.  It just seems to be the state of mind I'm currently in.

There have been times of questioning for me, asking what I did to cause this, what I could have done to prevent it, what I did to deserve it... But even in the brief moments of questioning the physical, there has never been a question about the purpose.

I believe we are on the paths we are on by God's sovereign design.  Where we are, and what happens to us will either draw us to Him or we forfeit the purpose.  

If I believe that God is sovereign, and I do, then I believe that he has allowed me to be on this journey.  

If I believe he has allowed me to be on this journey, and I do, then I must believe there is a greater purpose in it for me.

If I believe there is a greater purpose in it for me, and I do, then I must also believe this path is for my greater good.

If I believe this path is for my greater good, and I do, then why would I question?  Why would I worry?  Why would I fear?

At first glance, this is a nasty, tangled, treacherous path.  But seeing it from a heavenly perspective allows me to see the blessing in it.  

It is where we learn to walk by faith and not by sight.  Sight says, "cancer."  Faith rests in, "God is in control."  

For those who see this as a curse, I beg you, please do not.  Somehow that minimizes the blessing.  Instead I implore you to join me to as I "rejoice always and pray continually."

If God is in control, and he most certainly is, then I have nothing to fear.  Whatever He allows is for my greater good.  I need only to submit myself to His will and draw closer to Him.

Only By His Grace,

Billie