"Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." I keep telling myself this over and over and over. I keep reminding myself to renew my mind.
Friday begins round five of chemotherapy. I never expected to have five rounds of chemotherapy. I expected four. My plan was always to have four. I set my sights on four. I told myself I could get through four. Now, I'm facing round five. They're talking about rounds six and even seven... I cannot wrap my head around rounds five, six or seven. In fact, I can barely think about it without ending up in tears.
So I stand up a little straighter, grip my faith a little tighter and hold tight to the promises that give me strength.
Romans 12:2 "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." So, I'm trying to transform and renew my mind.
2 Corinthians 10:5 "...and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." I'm working on making my thoughts obedient to Christ. This may not be my plan, but I trust the author of the plan.
1 Peter 1:13 "Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed." I'm working on preparing my mind for the next action...in my case, the next round of chemo. The next few days of illness. The next days of fatigue. "Be self controlled." I'm working on exercising self-control. I don't want to do this, but I will exercise self-control and not give in to my own desires. I will do what is necessary. "Set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed." I'm setting my hope on Him alone!
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This passage is how I've felt from the very beginning. I trust my doctors. I believe the chemo is working. I'm thankful for the medications. But I know, I know, that my restoration will come, not by doctors, not by chemotherapies, not by surgeries, not by medications, not by my own strength, not by my own resolution, but solely by the Lord my God.
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Knowing this, I can push forward with all I have to renew my mind, to take captive every thought, and to prepare my mind for action. Will there be moments when I feel weak? Probably. Will there still be moments of dread? Certainly. Will weakness and dread keep me from trusting in the Lord my God? NEVER!
I will trust in the Lord my God who "trains my hands for battle... You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me..." Psalm 18:34. Why? Because he is "the King of glory. The Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle." Psalm 24:8.
Only By His Grace,
Billie
Billie, your faith will endure through this time as you set your eyes on the Lord. Ps 142 helped me so much.
ReplyDeleteI cry aloud to the Lord;
I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy.
2 I pour out before him my complaint;
before him I tell my trouble.
3 When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is you who watch over my way.
In the path where I walk
people have hidden a snare for me.
4 Look and see, there is no one at my right hand;
no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
no one cares for my life.
5 I cry to you, Lord;
I say, “You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living.”
6 Listen to my cry,
for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me.
7 Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me
Andrea