Blogging is funny business. You write, you think, you write some more. You edit, you correct, you re-think your words, you erase and re-write again. Finally, when all is finished, you post your heart for all the world to see.
There are people who read this blog that I know, and people who read this blog that I've never met before. When I look at the demographics of the readers they come from all over: United States, Canada, Alaska (I understand this is part of the United States), Malaysia, Germany, Australia... The thought of which is humbling to me, that people I don't know would read what I wrote.
Here, in my own little world, there are days of sunshine and days of rain. I try to share both. I try to share the good days, but I also try to keep it real and share the struggles, too. Because no one is always okay. We all struggle. We all hurt. We all grieve from time to time.
For the most part, I'm usually okay. There are times, like last week, when the temporary got the better of me and I was not okay. But one thing remains true, God is faithful! He is always faithful! Our experiences, good or bad, cannot change his faithfulness. They can only effect our perspective.
Last week I was having one of the worst weeks imaginable. Seven, eight, nine days post treatment and I was still tired, still sick, still suffering with hearing loss, still grumpy, still achey... and to be honest, I was distraught at the thought of continuing any more treatments. Any - whatsoever! I was over it! There were moments when I was woeful, hopeless, discouraged. The thought of more treatments, more sickness, more fatigue, more nausea could reduce me to a heap of tears.
And then the sunshine comes, breaking through the clouds, warming up the breeze and breathing freshness into this stuffy life. These past two days have been wonderful. We have gone from arctic cold to warmer weather; yesterday being in the mid-60's. I know it's February, but I broke out the capris and sandals. It's amazing what a little sunshine and warm weather will do for the spirit!
What is even better for the spirit is a little encouragement. That is really what I want this post to be about. For the past two weeks my heart has been dwelling on the idea of more treatments. I've been thinking of how much more I have yet to do. I've been wondering how the next round will effect me, how sick I might be, how tired I might get, how long it might last this time...
But just like the rays of sunshine warmed up my body, a visit with my doctor this week warmed up my thinking. "There are no guarantees," he said. But he talked to me about the cancer shrinking. He talked to me about the effects of exercise and encouraged me to do so. He offered hope saying, "I believe that after your surgery, you will be over this." That did my heart good. I understand there are no guarantees. I understand the risks of having cancer. But the words of encouragement he offered went above and beyond anything I could have imagined. A little encouragement goes a long way.
Hebrews 3:13 says, "But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." Last week I allowed my heart to be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. I took hold of someone's negative reaction and focused on it, when what I should have done was focus on the blessing that God used to encourage me. We are blessed beyond measure, even in the middle of this trial, we are so blessed.
Hebrews 10:23 & 24 says, "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds."
I am so thankful for everyone of you. I'm thankful that you read this blog; it's humbling. I'm thankful that you pray for us. Every day I receive emails, text messages, Facebook messages, cards, letters and notes of people telling us they are praying for us. I am thankful for every single prayer warrior. I am especially thankful for your words of encouragement. Thank you for "encouraging us daily." Thank you for "spurring us on toward love and good deeds, and holding unswervingly to hope."
Thank you for every word of hope, every prayer, every card, every letter, every email, every text message, every Facebook message. Thank you!
Our God is faithful and He will not let us down. To those who encourage us along the way, we are blessed by you!
Only By His Grace,
Billie
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