Cancer is making me fruity...

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."  James 3: 2-4. NIV

The King James version says, "...Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience..."  

I was speaking to the cashier at Kroger today.  She told me that she has been a cashier there for seven and one half years.  Then she said, "Being a cashier teaches you patience..."  And then she said, "and the "other things," like self-control and kindness..."  

As I walked to the parking lot I thought...cancer is teaching making me fruity...  This cancer has been a test of faith, but I know that the testing of my faith is developing patience...  

From the beginning of this journey nearly seven weeks ago I have learned more about the fruit of the Spirit.

We have learned about love:  We have been loved well by our friends and family.  We have had meals brought to us - these meals have allowed us to continue to be active in our children's lives.  Because people have loved us by bringing us meals, we have attended Austin's Christmas program, where he was a wise man.  We have attended Kayla's Christmas band concert.  We were able to take Austin to the movies for his birthday.  If people had not loved us so well, these things would have been stressful, not enjoyable.

We have learned about joy:  In the midst of the trial, I have had a joy that beyond comprehension.  I want that joy to spread to others around me, to those I encounter on a daily basis, like the cashier today.  I want her to see my joy in the middle of the trial.

We have learned about peace:  I know everyone has not felt this peace, but I have had such a peace throughout this journey.  From the first step, I have had a peace that passes all understanding.

We have learned about patience:  There are days when I have to practice patience more than others.  I want to continue to go at the same speed that I've always gone.  I want to continue to do all the things I've always done.  Truth is, I get tired easily.  When I get overly tired I get frustrated.  When I'm frustrated, I have to practice patience.

We have learned about kindness:  We have had so many people exhibit kindness to us.  We have been blessed with gift cards for dinners out, we have been blessed with cards and text messages.  We have been blessed with words of hope and prayer.  

We have learned about goodness:  Even as we go through this journey, we have been given the opportunity to share goodness with others, to pay forward some of the blessings that have come our way.  We want to share the goodness we've been blessed by with others.

We have learned about faithfulness:  It is so important to me that we remain faithful to this journey to which God has called us.  I know that days of doubt and fatigue will come.  We have also learned of God's faithfulness.  He has been and will continue to be faithful to us through this place.

We have learned gentleness:  There are moments when the underlying stress gets the better of us and we get snappy with each other.  In these moments we have learned to extend gentleness with one another.  We have learned that a gentle answer turns away wrath.  We have learned that a gentle word or deed goes a long way at defusing a stressful situation.

We have learned self-control: More, rather, I have learned self-control...or am learning it.  There are moments, albeit rare, when I want to stamp my feet and beat my chest.  In those moments my prayer becomes, "Lord, let this cup pass from me...nevertheless Thy Will Be Done...." 

I am thankful for this trial that is developing perseverance in me.  I am thankful that it is developing the fruit of the Spirit in me.  I am thankful that when perseverance has completed its work I will be mature and complete, not lacking anything...

Only By His Grace,

Billie