"...but be transformed by the renewing of your mind..." Romans 12: 2
Yesterday was not a greatly triumphant day for me. We cancelled a treatment because my platelets are too low, my WBC count is too low and I'm borderline anemic. All of these are side effects of the chemo and was expected... I just didn't expect it to happen to me. Because, I'm stubborn like that.
When these things happen, the mind starts to play tricks on you... little thoughts creep in like, "Great, now I'm going to get sick and won't be able to continue," "What if I get a virus and I have to spend Christmas in the hospital?," "What if the chemo isn't working?"
It's moments like this I love to think of Abraham... What a great example he is to me... "Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be." Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead - since he was a hundred years old - and that Sarah's womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God..." Romans 4:18-20
2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to, "...take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." NIV
I know this path may not always be easy. I know that there will be days, like yesterday, when I will feel defeated. I know that the recovery process is going to be long and hard.
But, like Abraham, even though I may face facts that my body is not operating as expected, I will not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God. He has promised never to leave me or forsake me. He has promised that he will make me lie down in green pastures and lead me beside still and quiet waters. He promises to comfort me by his rod and his staff and anoint my head with oil.
I will take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ. I will be transformed by the renewing of my mind.
Why, I wondered, are their horrific people in the world walking around without a care, and good people are struck with illness, death, cancer.... Why? Not that I was questioning God. I was just pondering the universe, I suppose. But it seems to me that when Christians are struck with illness, death, cancer, and hardship, it is an opportunity for us to glorify God through it all.
When bad things happen to bad people, I think the world looks with an attitude that says, "they had it coming." But when bad things happen to good people... and good people trust God through it... It brings God glory.
If I have but one thing to do through all of this, it is to bring God glory. No matter what the outcome, no matter the side effects, no matter the thoughts that wander through my mind. In all, I will not waver, but will hope against all hope. I will trust in the name of the Lord my God.
Only By His Grace,
Billie
Dear Billie,
ReplyDeleteDecades ago we were facing some situations with bleak prospects. I penned a poem. Not my greatest talent. But thru the years I have often went back and embraced its words. Today I share it with you:
Fear Not, 1 Peter 5:8-9
I was sitting, contemplating
What life had come to be,
And where I had to go,
I saw nothing that lay before me,
That I could reach
And take a hold.
But HE said fear not-
for I AM with you.
Slowly, then
Coming closer I could hear-
It was a lion
Going to and fro.
He was roaring
Such a mighty roar
In my tracks I froze
And the fear, it took a hold.
But the voice from deep within me-
I strained to hear,
Oh, HE was saying, "Fear not the lion's roar,
For I AM very near."
As I listened with all that was in me
to the voice straining to be heard
He said, "Fear not,
Fear not the roaring,
he's just roaring, hoping to be heard.
Fear not, fear not the lion's roar
For his roar, it is absurd.
You have nothing, nothing at all to fear-
You are mightier,
You have my Word."
HE said, "Lo, I AM with you always,
You can do all things thru me,
I have never seen the righteous forsaken,
And I will meet your every need."
Slowly the roar began to fade,
As the small voice
screamed to be heard.
For He was mightier
than the lion's roar,
He was GOD'S WORD.
I know you know all of that and are solidly resting on all the principles of God's Word. I know you have trusted your life and your family's life, relinquished your mortal hold and faced the roar that has come into your world. Your willingness to lay yourself bare for all of us to see as you walk thru this dark hour is and will have eternal impact in all of our lives. Jesus faced the cross and that dark hour, humiliated, scorned, exposed with his eyes set on what lay before him, knowing full well God's plan superseded his will, releasing himself to not my will but thine be done. We continue to join in praying, "Father, let this cup pass but even if you don't God be glorified!" We see that prayer being answered daily and you are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses.
Love,
Kathy
Thank you for your kind words. My prayer is that in every minute of this journey God will be glorified. This is not my battle, but His, and He is our victor!
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