The work of God displayed...

"There is nothing, no circumstance, no testing that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has come past God and past Christ, right through to me.  If it has come that far, it has come with great purpose."  ~Alan Redpath~

"As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth.  His disciples asked him, 'Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents that he was born blind?'  'Neither this man nor his parents sinned,' Jesus said, 'but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.' " John 9:1-3 NIV

For many months I have said that this path set before me, although terrible and horrific, has been my greatest blessing.  Many people don't understand that.  It's okay.  It's not something one can understand until one has experienced it personally.

I have also said from the beginning that if God in his sovereignty saw fit for me to walk this path...  The quote from Alan Redpath, says that nothing can touch us unless it goes past God and past Christ first.  When the devil wanted to afflict Job, he had to get permission from God first.  I believe that when we are faced with struggles and adversity, it has to have clearance from God first.  But once it has been given the okay, you can be certain that it comes with a great purpose.

Jesus said of the man born blind that his affliction had a divine purpose.  That purpose was none other than "so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."

I sometimes think how I was reluctant to allow the work of God to be displayed in my life.  I had gone into a very solitary place.  I didn't want people to know me, to touch me, to interact with me.  I had so much hurt inside of me that I didn't trust anyone with anything.  I didn't believe that people were true. I believed that they would pretend to love you and then talk terribly about you as soon as they had the chance.  I believe all people were like this because this was my experience.

But my cancer flipped a switch inside of me.  It allowed me to see people again, to let them touch my life, to let them help me, to let them love on me and my family.  It allowed me to begin to trust people again.

For me, I believe this cancer journey was allowed in order to bring about a great purpose in my life.  I believe that it was allowed in order for the work of God to be displayed in me.

I will never look on this cancer as a curse, but always as a blessing. My life has forever been changed for the better because of this disease.  God allowed this terrible thing to come to me because he knew it would bring a greater healing, a greater miracle, a greater blessing.  It may be strange, but I am forever thankful for a God who sees past the temporary and momentary to the greater purpose.  

I am thankful that he found me worthy enough to allow me to go through all of this.  I am thankful he saw something worth saving in me - something that said, "this girl needs a rescue and it can only come through adversity."

I am thankful for a God who allows me to suffer for a little while so that he can turn my sorrow into dancing and my ashes into beauty!

Only By His Grace,

Billie