Waiting on the Lord...

Yesterday I wrote about accepting your limp when it means you've been blessed.   I wrote that in relation to my abdominal scars, knowing that I will always have a large vertical scar and several little holes in my belly.  Not that it matters, at 42 years old, no one wants to see this in a bikini anyway.  

However, for me, my limp is not only metaphorical, but actual as well.  There were several lymph nodes in my pelvic cavity that had to be removed.  They were attached to a nerve - it is one in the sciatic nerve family.  The surgeons had to sever that nerve to remove the lymph nodes.

Because of this, my left leg is numb as if it were asleep, my toes have no feeling and I have little muscle strength in my hip.  Where they reattached the nerve endings to one another they had to put in multiple stitches - as in lots and lots of stitches. 

 My hip joint is very painful, to sit, to walk, to stand... it all just hurts.  It's funny to see me walk down the sidewalk, too.  I remind myself of Igor dragging my leg along saying, "Yes, my liege..." - well, maybe not that bad.



My doctors say the numbness will last about 10 - 12 weeks and the nerve will regenerate.  Eventually the stitches in my hip area will heal and dissolve and the pain will subside.  I will stop limping along and will eventually take to power walking and eventually jogging again.

Isaiah 40:31 promises that "Those that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength.  They will mount up with wings like eagles.  They will run and not be weary, they will walk and not faint."

I am taking this promise as my own over the next few weeks.  It has been a life source for me these past months as I've waited to get through the chemo treatments and surgery.  I have grasped onto the promise that I will renew my strength.  

Now, in a very real and tangible way, I wait again to renew my physical strength.  I will continue to wait upon the Lord until the day when I can run and not grow weary, and better still, walk and not faint.  

He has never failed me before, He will not fail me now.  I only need to continue to rest in His unfailing love and wait.  My hope is still in him, in recovery as much as in sickness.

Only By His Grace,

Billie