Mindful of me...

From the very beginning of this journey I have felt intrinsically aware of the Lord's awareness of me.  I felt his presence when they did my surgery and found the cancer.  I felt his peace when the doctor came in to tell us the news.  I have felt his spirit guiding me in the decisions I have to make, and I feel his sovereignty over it all, right down to the very last detail.

There has been so much that to the outward observer would seem to be coincidence, so much that has just "fallen into place."

My urologist has been my doctor since my childhood.  I know him well, and he knows me.  He knows everything about my urological history.  In fact, one prior surgery was a reimplantation of my left ureter.  Had it not been implanted exactly where it was, the tumor would not have covered it, blocking my kidney.  This could have gone unnoticed until it was too late.  There were no other symptoms.

My urologist knew my oncologist on a personal level.  She treated his wife's cancer.  He "just happened" to run into her at the grocery the very day of my surgery. He mentioned my situation to her, and she didn't even think twice at taking me as a patient.  She has been spectacular.

My dearest friend is a Physical Therapist, whom I met nearly 11 years ago when I wrecked my knee running.  She is since certified in women's health and after my bladder removal surgery, she will be a great benefit, I'm sure, at keeping me on the right track to recovery.

My urologist has even contacted a urological oncologist from a sister hospital to help him with my surgery.  This doctor has agreed, is a specialist in his field and is already getting the proper paperwork to be able to operate at the hospital of my choice.

Psalm 8 says, "When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?"  

Matthew 10 says, "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father.  And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." 

Psalm 139 says he is "intimately acquainted with all my ways."

I have been made aware through all of this, how intimately my Father knows me.  When I thought I couldn't hold my head up, I prayed for strength and within moments friends contacted me to tell me they were praying.  When I prayed for reprieve, My Lord allowed my treatments to be shortened.  When I  couldn't see a way, My Lord has provided me with options that I thought were not options at all.  

I am thankful that he is mindful of me, that he knows every hair of my head (even though most of them have fallen by the wayside) and that He is intimately acquainted with all my ways.

I am in good hands.  My Father knows my needs before I need them.  I couldn't ask for more.

Only By His Grace,

Billie