Last Friday was my last chemo treatment. In that I rejoice! I can begin to recover and move forward to phase two of this journey.
There is so much on our calendar the next few days: nephrostomy tube removal, consultation with the surgeons, lab work, follow-up appointments, eventual surgery, long weeks of recovery... who knows what else may crop up in the middle of it all.
This surgery is a radical one. Not only will they remove my bladder and surrounding lymph nodes, but they will reroute my kidneys into a "new bladder" made of intestine and bowel. According to all the information I've read I will be in the hospital, most likely ICU, for approximately one week. Once I am released to go home, I will have a catheter for approximately three weeks in order for the "new bladder" to heal and prepare for it's new job. I don't know how long I'll be confined to my house, if I'll need a nurse to come daily, how or if I'll be allowed to shower... it's all a giant mystery. I have lots of questions and there are areas of uncertainty.
To liken this journey to the storms of life is quite a statement. It has had its moments where the seas were raging. Many times I have felt tossed about like the waves of the ocean. But just when I thought I would sink He calms the wind and the waves offering me reprieve and providing me a safe place to rest. I have never been consumed. I have never been abandoned. I have never been alone.
"Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, 'My foot is slipping,' your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul." Psalm 94:17-19
There are still many unanswered questions that remain. As I continue on this path, I do not have to have all the answers. I only have to remain faithful.
I am on a pathway that I did not choose, a journey I did not want to take, but I do not walk alone. I have one going with me, and I can rest in the outcome - whatever it may be - because He walks beside me, and He is already waiting for me at the end.
Only By His Grace,
Billie
No comments:
Post a Comment